Friday, June 25, 2010

yesterday i almost hit a rabbit, today i was awake. . .

at the very tail end of my birth day, i say these things:
1. i am going to keep writing here, but I am going to stop saying 'blog' because it feels all whacked out and pretentious and maybe if I just call it 'writing' i'll stop one of the many self-conscious ticks in my life from developing fully. I think it might be important for me to keep writing, for myself and for my expressive ability and for the growth of my own .
2. I am working out some serious glitches in my self-esteem. what is true is that I'm probably not all bad. (working on it. slow and steady wins the race.)
3. I must make a concerted effort to say things in my head like: she's doing the best she can. he's doing the best he can. no matter how shitty a job i think their best may be, it is their best, at this moment, this very one.
and I must apply that same phrase to my own self. often.
4. My throat chakra is all hopped up on goofballs.
5. I've forgotten how much I like outlines. and numbered lists.
6. there are people who love me.
7. If I got to know more people, I would probably love them. this is not neccessarily supposed to be a problem, but I am still working on that one too.

i have a lot more to write but man, it was a humdinger this morning with Chakra Chakra Chakra C and I am completely thrilled . AND its my birthday , so go shake your booty on the dance floor somewhere.
*my kids are sleeping at my mother's tonight, so i just watched four episodes of Battlestar Galactica with J and now I'm off to a homegrown dancefloor.
hasta manana.