so,- met my former neighbor Beth, (foreclosure, move, etc. etc.) this morning at the school drop off. She looked, hmmm, 'dolled up' was how I put it when I asked her about it... this was 8:30 AM at the Kindergarten drop off and the shimmery silver cleavage shirt, the acidwashed tightjeanthings and the black 'slouch' boots were all somewhat out of the ordinary for her. She did look more sexy than normal, I will give you that. Evidently, she is going to a home inspection and wanted to look good.
good.
So. my mother would have pulled me tight if she'd been met with that outfit during a school dropoff. I am not so obvious -and it helps to know that Beth is not in fact an out-of-work hooker-but an overly large woman of extreme anxieties.... but I AM slightly miffed that Beth, in all of her crazy, knows how to look 'good' at the drop of a hat and if I am ever asked to do the same thing, it is a panic of wild proportions here and everyone in the vicinity is involved and somehow I am completely lacking in the silvery cleavage shirt arena. completely lacking.
but I'm not sure of what kind of attention it is that I really want... does the Home Inspector tell me more if I vamp it up? Should I get a shirt like that just to buy groceries? meat? deals?
And if I spend all my time (granted, its about 20 minutes on any given day) on the sexification of myself for the attention of random men on the street, what then will I do when I get said attention? !
and I wonder if that isn't part of the problem of me and many of my stay at home mother compadres. (yes, the irony, mother, compadres... hah! ) I have become sort of immune to the attention-seeking. . . (not single, too tired, too many kids..this damn stomach... ) but haven't exactly forgotten the feeling of getting the attention itself. . . and its not a husbandly kind of attention I am talking about. Its that flirt with the coffee boy, the george clooney at the bookstore... the possibility that lurks in the friendly stranger. . .
but it certainly is not the random construction catcaller. or the husband's pal at work...
(oh. an aside: or querie: if husband goes to a sauna with pal from work and pal's wife is there and she goes naked, what say you? i was bothered, both by hubs, the pal and the wife... what say YOU?) i want public reaction to supply hubsJ with a secondary reaction to mine... balance, dudes, balance...
“All I Want Is Everything”
19 hours ago
4 comments:
Here's me giving the gift of perspective right back to you:
Yuck. No. Gross. Not OK. Off. Strange.
Really, SHE thought that was OK? Why? How?
Speaks to others having "Vastly different experiences" in life? I don't know- but I'd be skived if it was my hubsJ. I know it's a "natural" thing (read crunchy and I followed The Grateful Dead or Phish tour so this seems so normal, ahem.) but I have always been into- now I get to be a grown-up and don't have to show off for anyone. Prove my worth, as it were. And you can tell him I said so.
(Of course this is in reaction to the sauna- not the sequins. If it makes Beth feel better about herself to look that way then she will vibe that way. Power. Inside/outside. BTW- I have seen you pull off sexy effortlessly- many times. In very very adorable outfits. So, they are there... and isn't it really for showing off to other women, too?)
getting attention is fun - flirting is all about having fun and being nice and being innocent.
But...
sitting in a sauna naked with a married man ...not so much. Hmm...Please tell me she wore a towel wrapped tightly around her or that she is 85 years old. 85 yr old women can do whatever the heck they want.
Re: Sauna- To say that I would be PISSED at every person involved in that scenario would be a complete understatement. Hubs should not go if you are uncomfortable with it. PERIOD. I guess the woman can do whatever she wants but it is up to your husband to respect your feelings on the situation.
Loved the rest of your post. Had a little laugh about Beth and felt a little envy too.
this issue [re; co-ed sauna] appears to be well commented thus far, I would however add my $0.02, despite as per my normal modus operandi being a day late and a dollar short.
I'm trying to wrap my head around this scenario; they have a sauna where your hubsJ works? work is conducted in a sauna? no- I do not believe this to be the case- as the last time I check the land of the providence plantations was founded by folks who were interested in freedom of religion [while still being fairly "conservative" by todays light] - not - based on the culture prevalent in Scandinavian societies- [Sweden,Norway,Finland] where such intermural intersex sauna society may be more commonplace and accepted. Given this jabber- I'd invite the simple test of role reversal; how would hubsJ perceive you w/ female co-worker and her husband in a nude sauna or hot tub or similar situation;; there is maturity and prudishness- that because a situation is potentially sexually charged - does not mean that it will be sexy to those in it- then there is the avoidance of the appearance of impropriety ;. . . [and then there is my hypocrite alert {compulsion for disclosure (and quite possibly TMI)} that how is it [the sauna situation] different- or less faithful than me ogling the porn video- < I tell myself- that the difference is that there is no relationship w/ the pixel images on the screen (unlike the friend's wife in the towel on the opposite bench) but that shallow analysis betrays the effect on me ~how I perceive myself, my own image etc.~ > my dear wmx, you asked "what say you?" I fear I have said too much, yet I go on. If this thing is a problem for you- that might ought be enough- there isn't a relevant community standard here- it is a community of two- you and hubsJ- that set the rule of how your life will be.
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