Friday, November 6, 2009

why i do love yoga anyways

not because it is so fun to say 'om' or to investigate belief in namaste...

but because, when asked to 'press down your left heel'... you have to think about your body in its specifics. because your body does not actually do what you ask it to if you just repeat phrases in your head. you know? so the connections between thought and action are re-forged in the body and- i think that i'm learning about how my body works, finally, after 35 years or so. its a pretty powerful thing, and it is changing how i do the dishes, how i drive the car... and even how i eat. (admission: i have realized how bad sugar is for me lately. SOOO bad. makes me an evil screaming bitch. but halloween has just been here and i am eating peanut butter cups. so there. )

I am never going to know what the poses are called because I can't hear the instructors. ever. I know that just about everything ends with 'ana' or something something pose ..but all I can do is concentrate on my thigh muscles and avoiding an overrelianceupon my knee joint, so I cannot concentrate on lip-reading an 'ana' pose name. Someday, maybe. but probably not.

and my classes are almost all women. have you looked at women's hands lately? they are so ridiculously beautiful . my god. and even i, the awkward queen of the jungle, have hands worth noticing.

I love the breathing that it is instilling in me again. breathing. so damn simple. should get me through these days of 5 am wakings.
and there is something in the air for me these days, the not-sleeping is JUST me... i'm up. i take a bath at 5 o'clock in the morning because i am just wiped out by the waiting for dawn... and i think, maybe a bath will help me get an hour of sleep. christ almighty.